Classic Lovato at Large: I wrote some headlines I'd rather forget...

(Editor's warning: Some of the content in the following column might not be suitable for easily offended readers. Reader discretion is advised.) When I was much younger, I was left alone a lot to produce weekend newspapers so the vets could have their days off. But I had a penchant for writing headlines that weren't always...appropriate. The following is a brief story of some of my more memorable headlines, followed by the headline and the reaction to it.

• On a page that unusually had an obituary and a birth announcement: Coming and Going Many readers laughed, many said it was insensitive, I said I was pressed for time and lacked clear thinking, my boss said it better not happen again.

• The great Reggie Jackson was in a long hitless streak when he said all he thought about was his hitting slump, even when he was with his girlfriend: He'd rather hit than score Most people didn't get it, many who did thought it was funny, many others thought it was crass. My boss said it better not happen again.

• I once pulled Dear Abby's column to make room for a major late-night fire. When a gaggle of senior women complained enthusiastically, I was asked to write an explanation and apologize.

I did a great job on the apology. But left alone I wrote the headline: Blue hairs get the blues over losing Dear Abby Many people laughed. Many others were upset. I was oblivious (I was 22!) My boss was livid. He said, it better not happen again.

• On a tennis player who died after a long bout with cancer: Game, set...life You can guess the reactions. Thank God most sports fans are as insensitive as I am...er...was.

• Remember the good Dodger pitcher Tim Belcher? He once lost a game in late innings because he got too tired: Belcher runs out of gas I didn't get in too much trouble for that one.

• There was the time thousands missed their pay-per-view boxing match because a bird flew into the electric lines: Fowl flight fouls fight That actually went over well, AFTER the fight fans got their refunds.

• A snack-loving fan threw up on one of Ty Cobb's ancestors at a minor league baseball game: (Pop)Corn on the Cobb

• A rabbi fell while chanting during a Hanukkah celebration after being pushed by an antisemitic man.

When the rabbi fell, his 150-year-old Yamika flew off, fell in some wine and was destroyed: Schmuckika Schlepika Hanukkah Yamika

That one didn't make the paper as some much wiser person re-wrote the headline. When my boss confronted me about this, I told him only people with a stick up their butts would disapprove and that I was glad I didn't have a proverbial stick up my butt.

To which he replied, "It better not happen again! But it's a good thing, because if you did have a stick up your butt, I'd pull it out and beat you with it!"

Now THAT is insensitive.