Old age and the veggie burger...

I have been trying to take better care of myself because I want to live an active, energetic life as I get older. (Make no mistake. I'm not getting OLD. I'm there, already. I'm getting older.)

However, I question the need for me to live a longer, healthier in a world I feel less and less a part of.

I was raised by parents born in the 20s, making my social view of the world at least two generations out of touch.

And then, yesterday, a guy 38 years old, called me Old Timer.

It comes at me from all directions: Wear your seat belts, Don't drink from the hose, No smoking, Put your helmet on, Make sure you're hydrated, Brush your tongue(?), Don't get too excited, Why are you so quiet and shut down?, That's racist, That's sexist, That's inappropriate, Quit shaming, Wear your pants lower, Untuck your shirt, Stop combing your hair, showering and wearing un-distressed clothes, Turn off that music, No dogs allowed, Don't drive too fast, Speed up, Old Dude, White privilege, Dream squasher, Insensitive,

Don't make that hand gesture,... ...the list grows daily.

And now, of all things, they are trying to take away our beef. One of the few vices I can still enjoy is being threatened over cow flatulence. I once told a pastor, when he asked about my belief in God, that beef ribs are proof because only a God could make this perfect meat-sicle for us loathsome humans.

A few months ago, Burger King introduced some kind of meatless hamburger. BK went from char-broiled ground chuck to offering us grilled veggie-frappes. Just change the name to Burger Queen. (Sexist!)

I guess anyone "blessed" enough to live a long time eventually gets here. I haven't changed my basic style since 1978. Stuff I wore that was retro then, is now back in style!

Is it me, or does every single-named, female singer under 30 look and sound the same? In fact, a lot of the male singers do, too. (Homophobic!)

Yet, as much as I feel attacked and out of touch with these younger generations, I kind of feel sorry for them. They will never skin a knee, get overheated, sneak a look at a dirty magazine, ride in the open bed of a pickup truck, sneak into a movie theater, shoot something, play with friends at the park, or play with toys that can maim or kill them.

How sad that they might never have a, "Here, hold my beer," event.

They will never do anything to shock or offend me, while everything I do seems to shock them!

Who knew? I'm still fighting The Man and they never will.

I have to wrap this up so I can eat early enough to avoid heartburn so I take my pills before I fall asleep watching reruns of Seinfeld or Tough Crowd.